Support for those who feel lost today: Getting the bigger picture straightened out

 


This morning I woke up ugly and upset, on the cusp of 37 with no job to my name, nothing I could rely on in terms of hope, not even the flotsam and jetsam of an idea, and nothing on my daily task list to make me understand what needed doing. 

I am in dire straits in other words. 

But what I really lacked was a bigger picture understanding. 

We've all been there. We wake up after a night of frittering around on our computer and trying to learn some course in a  non-systematic way. In my case, this was a game development course on stackskills (similar to Udemy if you haven't heard of stackskills.)

It felt right last night. 

In fact, it felt like I was building up to something. 

But come this morning, I was back in the position I described in the opening passage. 

There was just nothing I wanted to do. 

The truth is, I've been out of a relationship for about a year now. I had put everything into it. 

And I helped myself understand that this was therefore natural. This feeling of being lost. Of being undesirable in any sense, professional or romantic or otherwise. 

So I did well to admit that much. The feeling of lostness is proportional to how much you've put into a relationship. 

And hearts take some time to heal. They don't just heal overnight. 

So there's that. Of course there's that. I have to give myself credit for loving in such a committed way. 

And I have to give myself time to overcome those feelings of neglect. 

She did after all have an orphan syndrome. And it's only natural that she'd transfer that to me. 

Now I feel like an orphan. 

Anyway, so back to the point. How did I solve this crisis of being nowhere and being nothing and having no idea where I was headed after a night of gaming? 

Well I opened a book called Raise Your Game. 

I started reading this book and most importantly I started taking notes. 

This is a big-picture book too. 

It's not a small-ideas book. It's a map. 

And that's something I feel all of us should do if we feel completely lost, broken and unhealthy: 

Find a big-picture book like Raise Your Game.

And just start taking notes. 

Oh. And if you have any addictions? 

Get rid of those first.