The terrible Curse of Looking Like Julia Roberts

I came across this link today, that proposed to be a guide to self-actualisation. How many times havent people promised me that?The blogger is a woman called Svetlana Pokrevskaya. She claims for herself the ability to turn your life around in 30 days. She's an attractive woman, but one thing prevented my mind from travelling along the route of attraction. It took me some time to figure this out: She looks too much like Julia Roberts, and that's unfortunate.

I'm a picky guy, by any standard. I'll only date a girl if she has standards, and those standards have to include decency, decorum and self-respect. Kind of hard to find in this age of ultra-fem sex obsessed madness. You don't need to go to a Spring Break to discover that, just visit your local club. Ho hum... I know what you're thinking. Nope I'm not some kind of conservative jackass who sets unreasonable benchmarks for girls. I'm an independent thinker. And I have my reservations about Julia Roberts.

A lot of folk will just say julia roberts is a bitch, and I know there are real ladies are around who just happen to look like Julia Roberts! So if you've been told you have the craziest resemblance to her, This isn't about you. Here's why I feel the way I do.

The short answer is " Hollywood".

She played the main character in EAT, PRAY, LOVE, but on any cultural timeline, Julia Roberts definitely represents a watershed moment in Hollywood's development. She is the precursor to the Sex and the City thing. She made whoredom cool in Pretty Woman, and influenced millions of young girls and older women with EAT, PRAY, LOVE. Even aesthetically, she resembles all of those whack-ass characters from Sex in The City. Basically, the kind of woman who will drop her standards so low that  anyone with sense will agree, julia roberts is a bitch in her character portrayals, although the verdict's out on her real life.

As a matter of fact, Julia Roberts probably brought about the the Kate Jenner thing before Kate Jenner even existed! That theory is still being worked on, I realize it has holes. But think about it! Jenner and Julia Roberts are incredibly similar in the ways they behave, look and their basic approach towards standards.

What is most convincing though is that she divorced sex from any inkling of true love. She made sexcapades cool for women, and that makes julia roberts a bitch in the characters she chooses, if nothing else. But this does take it's toll on an actress, and in case you didn't know, Julia Roberts left her 4th or 5th husband recently (I can't remember which) on her wedding night to have sex with his friend.

Unfortunately, for me, that messes things up for the well-meaning women who just happen to look like Julia Roberts. But it's also in her eyes. Those are soulless opportunistic eyes that are on the prowl for needy men. If  SIRI had a face (depending on my mood on the day) that face would be probably be a cyborg version of Julia Roberts. And then I really could say "julia roberts is a bitch" without feeling guilty about it.