Where I stand

Suffering fools gladly is my one and only point of expertise. I am virtually incapable of any other task on account of extreme and consistent depression since the age of birth.

House sitting, dog sitting wha'dya want this time? My phone is ringing off the hook but I don't even want to do it for the money. I'll do it to be nice to people, you know? I'm an altruist who hates people who can't be nice in return. If they could be altruists too, then maybe.... But humanity's a joke.

No shit. I turn the phone off before this whole town gets on my case. I have no qualms with animals. I understand animals. It's their owners who make me question the point of helping them out. There's no difference between any of them. Just a sea of grey faces.

Fuckers can't greet you when they see you in public. Always asking after you through your mother. No one else is about to call. So the phone can stay off. Depression, insanity, loneliness. My favourite entertainment.