About my mother

Before you meet my mother, or even as you meet her, stepping over the threshold of my front door, you need to realize that she can be a thoroughly wicked individual without realizing it. Not that we all can't be wicked; And not that she is more wicked than other peoples' mothers. But, her wickedness is of a particular manner and stamp and has to do with an incorrect understanding of the gospels carried down to her through generations of protestant indoctrination. This foible of hers has taught me that I must never complain. The trouble with this is that in living with her, I find that there is no air and no space. One must live in an environment of constant fretting and disturbances and fear. A house of poltergeists could not be more violent or shattering to the peace. She does not allow for weekends. Her mind is completely traumatized by her fear of the oncoming approach of the end of the world. She does not care about society, and yet for her it is absolutely repugnant when a faraway man or woman dies at the hand of a black; this is enough to set her off completely for the rest of the day; or when a queer in some remote country waves his rear end in front of a passing car during a pride parade, she can not, wil nicht let it go..These things set her off and keep her working like a demon possessed. Now the same Nazi demon is being set off in me; it is apparently somewhere lurking in my blood; somewhere in all German blood. Yes, we all have it. After all, how is she to deal with that other part of reality that is not dealt with by the protestants, the German Lutheran clergy, which is in fact dealt with by Jung, the Swiss psychoanalist; but which I am certain was known to its infinite degree dealt with by Jesus himself? "How muszt she know that religiozity and negatifity do not make a zaint of anvone?" More often it makes them a judgmental german shepherd, or as the Germans call it,Deutscher Schäferhund of a person, indeed she is never happy but for the endeavor of chasing down demons in other people while remaining completely oblivious to the fact that this is a demon in its own right.