My name is Dylan and I'm a depressive

The situation that unfolded over the past few days was nothing short of tragic. I am a guy who has a lot going for him. I am young, I am intelligent, and I am willing to change things for myself. For some reason though, I'm unstable. I just can't get things together. Everything feels like it's slipping away from me. The more I try to grasp hold of life, the more it evades me.

At the night market I went to last night, I spent about 60 rand on food. Fair enough, that was 60 rand for the whole day, and I ate well, but the point I'm getting at is I didn't feel that initial thrill that the night market brings. I didn't feel like everything was magic again. The more time goes on the more it slips away. Everything I needed slips away.

The girl I care for is slipping away. Valentine's day is coming up and I wonder if she'll be there. I'm nervous about everything. I'm nervous about school as well. Which reminds me; I'd better get my lesson plan together before things turn sour and I find myself awake at 2 am. These long nights are maybe part of the reason I don't feel anything.

Sometimes I feel sick of it all and I want to go home. I don't see a place for myself and I wish to give up. The days of reading books at home and losing myself in reverie haven't found me here. I've been lost in translation in Thailand.