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Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...

The betrayal

I don't know who betrayed me first. Maybe it was my father, the day he decided to leave me. Maybe it was my first group of friends who never stuck by me. Whichever way you look at things, I am not liked or likeable, and this has caused a great sense of betrayal.

I remember one girl who first spoke to me and asked me to be her boyfriend. That was my first brush with romance. It was a rather twisted episode and I trace it through many suburban days playing in the trees with the insects and animals. 

Who was watching me? Was it God? Someone was looking at me and in my naive childish way, I thought they were trying to butcher me the whole time? Someone seemed to be betraying me. Was it God. 

The betrayal spread its roots to my late teenage years. I hated people and judged them harshly. I wanted to be a lone wolf and it gave me an angry scowl most of the time, which I thought looked handsome. It obviously wasn't because I had such a low success rate with anything relating to society. 

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