How to make a humane ant trap

The first thing you must do is find a bottle or a jar with only one entrance and exit. The stuff inside this jar must be very sticky and not allow the  ants to escape easily. This means the ants might stay stuck inside the jar for a number of days and never fully realize they're in trouble because they'll be eating the sweet nectars of nature while you can admire their army march lines inside the jar. 

You see, there is really no killing involved at all in any stage of this process. Whenever you are ready, you may take this contraption out into nature, even dispose of it inside a communal rubbish bin, and wipe your hands clean of any guilt for killing these helpless creatures. They are, after all just doing what ants are born to do. 

 I was in Krabi on the weekend and met a beautiful woman who worked in a coffee shop. Even though she was very reserved at first, she was friendly enough once I had done my part to show I was a gentleman, but there is one curious memory that stands out most of all. That, within that shop, and within the glass counter behind which she worked, there was an army of ants who had all but invaded her shop. They were crawling on and next to and besides the cakes and nobody was doing a thing about it. I suppose that if they removed the cakes, there would be nothing to show after all. 

Or maybe everyone needs a sort of monument to despair, and hers was that collection of cakes. We all don't feel quite happy until there is some kind of art installation that we may admire - preferably with moving mechanical bodies inside - like those ants.

I really enjoyed tipping her, and that was my work done. I don't need to go back in there ever again, but if I do, I will certainly reserve my best tip for her along the course of the holiday.