I was sitting at my computer

 I was sitting at my computer looking up how to get in on the illicit diamond trade on the internet. That's when the feds came knocking on my door. I had to jump up and make my way to the fire escape and out of the window. They were on my case, but before I could do anything, a helicopter swept me up from my perch. (I was on haunches sitting on a horizontal handrail with almost perfect balance) And they took me up into the wide yonder. Soon I was with a group of hardened ex-navy seals who were on their way to find the place where illegal diamonds were the most plentiful. Some part of the Amazon rainforest I had never heard of. Nonetheless, We got there the same day. The forest I mean. We sunk our teeth into some juicy piranha at the banks of the Amazon. The shaman said it would give us strength and fortitude for the mission ahead. And it was a tough mission to be sure. 

No sooner had we sunk the lift that we made that morning into the shaft, than we were greeted with screams from the bottom of the mine. They were not ordinary human screams but screams from something that I had never heard the name of. It was a chubakabra, one of the seals told me. The chubakabra was something that old Shaman Pete had told us about back at the campfire. It had glowing green coals for eyes. I mean green coals if coals burned a green color, which they don't. Anyway, A chubakabra isn't something to be messed with. People have gotten their head ripped off for less. We had to sneak up somehow and take the cart full of diamonds away from the creature, and then load them up into the helicopter. Fortunately, one of our team had brought an RPG, and it was just a matter of launching that old chestnut down the hole. When he'd done that, we heard the poor creature choking and gasping for breath. That gave us a chance to sneak up behind him and put that crate of diamonds into our pully-controlled lift. Shaman Pete himself cranked us up and that was it. We were A for away. Back into the copter in no time and safe back in our homes before sunset. 

What an adventure that was. Now I'm a multimillionaire. And it just took a google search. And the feds? Well I paid them off. I just signed up as a member of the American democratic party and that was it. The law never troubled me again. I still miss the taste of that juicy piranha though. Would I do it again? Not for love or money! Way too dangerous a mission.