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Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...
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Bad art is responsible for killing art

 You know, it sometimes seems that there's a conspiracy of bad art that strangles any honest attempts at making art anymore. I shut down a part of myself  because it was too sincere and I felt too much pain every time I shared something creative. I sometimes think to myself: "What's the use of making art if the taste out there is for shit!"

But maybe that's just feeding into the cycle that kills art. It could be the case. I don't know what to say, other than if you don't try, you'll never know, and I don't usually try. I don't try anything. I haven't tried writing a novel. I haven't done anything creative over the years. 

Perhaps it's time to try monsieur ;{o

The other side of it is that no one cares that I exist. This pisses me off tremendously. I want to live, after all. I want options too. I don't want to have to settle for whatever shitbag people life hands me.






I do not mind living in Thailand, but if I have to put up with the working conditions there, I think I may as well just kill myself. Stress is not my thing. I hate being stressed out and not knowing if my job is on the line or not. You get some harsh women over there. Women were actually my bane in Thailand. They are some of the most terrible people. And then there are such nice women too, some that will stand up for you no matter the situation. 

Jongjin Yamsri was one of the reasons. I'm not going to lie, I wanted her so badly but the expectations I set up for her hurt me so badly I don't even want to think of her. She could at least have kept up the friendship. I hate being the last one to reply all the time. 

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