Is Dingus and Daddy already Dead? - An Honest review

Once there were two clowns

One called Dingus and one called Wazoo

One looked good but was evil

One was evil and looked evil too

They took over the linkdin Inboxes

And turned the whole site into a zoo

-The tale of Dingus and Wazoo

You may have been offered work with this company. They're constantly recruiting, and on the outside it all looks fun and even a bit like a new family.  To be honest, you get a little swept off your feet at first. It's clear that they're excited. Like any group of young people set on making money, they're excited. 

But the question is: "Should you be?"

Well on the inside, this is certainly one of the weirdest media-buyer companies to work for, with a zany and pretty questionable business model. And if you're a client, they seem likely to spontaneously combust. On one hand, if you like the risk, that can seem like a plus point.

Sometimes D&G help you get your way and they manage to sell you the dream, but know this: Each article comes at the cost of a dozen broken souls; In short the kind of cult that can be so removed from reality that it can't keep its promises without subtle manipulation of their clients and their employees. The scheme reminds many of my business friends of a pyramid scheme, all of which will actually damage your credibility long run. In short, it relies on a few bottom-feeders from 3rd world countries taking on the massive strain of legacy clients for whom Dingus charge a flat rate. In short, when they get busted, you don't want your company's name to touch them with a barge-pole. 

                                                           Witchy: "Hello Friend"

Their business model is straightforward but far from ethical: Cram in as many poor unassuming writers, graphic designers, SEO experts and video editors from third world countries at bargain-basement rates, in as short a period as possible, juice their souls on a slippery slide of endless emotional whoop-whoop and then throw them into a soul wood-chipper - (when, after endless sleepless nights) - the respective worker decides this new-fangled lifestyle isn't worth pursuing for all the free hugs in the world.

Maybe these people even think of jumping out of a high-rise window. Maybe they do. Maybe they even punch their grandma in the tits. This company does not care and is crazy and bad for the world in a general way, even if companies like the cheap rates they offer or the artificially pumped-up ratings on Yelp and Google. We have received numerous anonymous complaints at this point and it all adds up to one thing: The sooner they fall the better. At their very foundation they're flawed. 

The vibe that initially sucks you in...

Unfortunately Dingus and Zazzy keep only a select few clients happy and this is about as far as it goes. These are what they call their "legacy clients." When you're part of their "international work force" what this looks like is being a sardine packed so tight in a sardine can while being privileged with the few jokes and memes passed down in the work forum from the inner circle/virtual water-cooler.

No Reliable Metrics

Performance metrics are a problem at Dingus and Zazzy. No matter how much work the worker puts out, there is a new batch for them waiting in the wings... Sooner rather, broken of back and ailing in spirit,  the sweat-shop employee realizes that all the dark humor comes from a burnt-out workforce that earns virtually a fifth of what they're actually worth who rationalize this by thinking they're loved. Yet as soon as they're too tired to type another key, being disappeared is a real prospect. There is zero commitment from Dingus in terms or offboarding. One day your in free-hug heaven and the next you're yesterday's vermin. 

Now, this would not be as much a problem if the clients weren't being screwed over, but unfortunately that aspect is a matter of Russian Roulette. You might hit it lucky, but then again, it could destroy your credibility if one of the employees decides to go kamakazi on Dingus... Which yes, has happened in my time, leading to the following results: 

Coming at you from a clearly purple-haired left-wing outfit like Dingus and Zazzy where "zim" and "zer" pronouns are flying every which way, this smacks of considerable hypocrisy. We didn't know unethical Canadians existed before the flood of complaints hit our mail box but sadly even Canadians are not immune.

Dingus and Zazzy pass on the discount of hiring "cheap ass-beavers" (as they call them privately) to their clients and had originally been able to present incredible profit margins to their angel investors in the initial stages "How do you do it?"is a question they were once frequently asked on podcasts, in local newspapers and even by Bloomberg once upon a time, (When they were still making a buzz.) 

Their reputation has caught up with them unfortunately for them. What they present to the world is something other than what they are; an apparently heartless company with no vibe and no sustainable future.  They pretend to be the Modest Mouse of media companies but really they're the GG Allin. People are losing their minds inside this sweatshop with no recourse to psychiatric health. It's only a handful of drunken cheerleaders that keep the outfit grinding along.

Adding insult to injury: Dingus and Zazzy are not at all knowledgeable about half of what they claim to know.

As one employee who prefers to remain anonymous stated: "They don't allow reasonable deadlines for many of their projects. They're absolutely senseless on this point. Instead of quality, they rinse a can-do attitude throughout the company pipelines to push these projects through any which way they can, using" - as we mentioned previously -  using a poor labor force abroad as financial leverage, but also gaslighting and no small amount of hierarchical power play.

Those who know what they're doing get overloaded like Egyptian slaves in work in domains they aren't necessarily skilled in. They get compliments from the client get a kick in the back by the managers later on if they don't keep up with the banter and "take life too seriously."

It's almost guaranteed. They're not looking for good workers. These guys are looking for good replies to water-cooler jokes in the style of a high-school cool-club. It's a mad, messy hodge-podge of frenetic activity that they re-frame as  hair-on-fire hilarity, but at the end of the day, there's zero competency at the top, and there's a yawning mid-tier management void with peptic-ulcer-driven hunger to make new sales. This is the underworld of Clive Barker's  pinhead. There's no proper oversight or delegation either; it's like an Irish version of Wolf o' the Wall-street but with an uncharismatic leader like Buhler's math teacher with purple hair and a space suit; in other words, an outfit hideously out of touch. 

You also get the impression that they're always busy drinking at the top according to some of the insiders we spoke to. Plastic office parties with cheap golden cups and crappy hats and the works... Suffice it to say, the lifeblood of the company aren't the CEO (Jonathan Sturgeon) or Head of Operations (Becca Kay) either; They're the countless worker ants who get funneled in and exterminated in the laughing-gas chamber within a month or two after they're too burnt out from depraved nihilistic laughter to continue working.

"Dressed up in space suits and flying planes held together with scotch tape for their endless PR stunts(I'm not kidding), the company is best symbolized by spacemen with clown hairdos and non-airworthy planes flown by drunken immature clowns. A clique of Jonny-come-lately frat boys who tread on the backs of the actual workforce.... well just generally hype without substance; and one day, it seems certain by now, they'll crash. "

Conclusion: 

Buzz phrases and hip lingo can only get you so far. The varnish is beginning to fade, companies are starting to see through these wooden sales gimmicks; the old plane is rusting and even after up-voting themselves on places like Glassdoor, Google Reviews and countless other review platforms, Dingus and Zazzy are starting to slip into irrelevance, even in their home town. Their presence in the media -internet and traditional- has all but stalled. By grift here and a little graft there they've gone from nothing to Bloomberg and from Bloomberg into the garbage can. And the best part of all is that (as one of their top people confided in me) "they f***ing deserve it."

Their performance in the inner circles is fading too, as is their humor as they themselves begin to shrivel and fade like an aging clown after too many nasty coke binges. The negative Glassdoor reviews continue to pile up and internal strife outweighs the pros of selectively raised salaries. Nobody, no how desperate,  wants to work for a creepy operation that exploits the 3rd world to bring depraved humor to their world and home-life. The world is a small place, and as it turns out, people don't like being milked for all they're worth for sales leads driven by the local bar clowns. So in short, they're also running out of people to do the milking for them.

Dingus and Zazzy are gaining  a bad, unethical and disingenuous reputation by any measure, and they have almost zero sense of social responsibility. 

In the final analysis, it's not funny, and it's actually dangerous to peoples' health, and your company's credibility. They don't seem interested in turning the ship around so if your company gets caught supporting them it could be bad for you. In other words, business models that APPEAR to be too good to be true are poison to society and the companies they claim to help.

                                                                    "dingus"

                                                    Jonathan "Daddy" Spurgeon (Uncle Daddy/ Zazzy)