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Throw a dog a bone

 Girls make a million excuses to avoid being with the guy who isn't the one they're interested in at that moment.  They keep a bunch of sausages on the backburner most times.  This one girl who I liked said her tonsils were out and she couldn't make it after 3 months of love emojis and this kind of thing. Then it was something else. She said she was in a dating relationship. Only, there was no evidence on IG. Women change their minds all the time and they don't like to be forced to meet someone.  Maybe they just like talking to you on the DM's for an ego boost. One thing's for sure though; If you try to force them to meet they back out quicker than an alleyway cat before a pile of exploding excrement.
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It's like Bukowski says

 Being so scarred and so battered as a sensitive person leads to wisdom. . . 

Sure you end up with a stomach that feels like it's turning to water or slowly becoming a granular paste in certain places, but you also feel on the whole much tougher. 

I read a piece on my bosses' personality type yesterday, only to find that everything I thought was true, actually is. 

He has a narcissistic nature, he bullies and belittles those he knows can't answer back. He cares only for reputation and what he can get out of a situation... 

All of this leads to difficult working conditions, especially when he's about. But yesterday, things changed for the first time. I walked with my shoulders back and did what I had to, and for the first time, it felt like he wasn't the boss of my soul. 

As the scar tissue begins to build up, I feel less and less vulnerable. I feel as if it won't all kill me. I just wish I had some sort of social life. Something to dissipate the stress of living in such a way.

But things will get worse. I'm not banking on this world for anything. Suffering is good for the incoming administration (a global one). Trouble is good for the chaotic people running everything. Often, they cause it. 




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