It could have been a dream, that hazy summer afternoon in Thailand when my girlfriend went out with her friends on a graduation road trip. I was back for some time and would leave again for Donsak where I was acting as an au pair. I don't know why these emotions are indelibly set within me like gems. Why they shine and seem to move about in the gleam of the day as if it's still summer. I got up and made my way to the bus station and I recall that I was listening to Frankenstein because audible was free during covid.
There is a constant frustration burning within me for a lack of great ideas, and a longing for intense emotions. I turn to things I shouldn't when this happens. I gloat over the female form; I gloat over many female forms - these days it's easy - wishing to reclaim that one moment again. That sentimental feeling of loving and being loved on an intense burning Thai day. I want to restart the whole thing, to go back in time and find that she's still there.
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