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Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...
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Love slows down time

 It could have been a dream, that hazy summer afternoon in Thailand when my girlfriend went out with her friends on a graduation road trip. I was back for some time and would leave again for Donsak where I was acting as an au pair. I don't know why these emotions are indelibly set within me like gems. Why they shine and seem to move about in the gleam of the day as if it's still summer. I got up and made my way to the bus station and I recall that I was listening to Frankenstein because audible was free during covid. 

There is a constant frustration burning within me for a lack of great ideas, and a longing for intense emotions. I turn to things I shouldn't when this happens. I gloat over the female form; I gloat over many female forms - these days it's easy - wishing to reclaim that one moment again. That sentimental feeling of loving and being loved on an intense burning Thai day. I want to restart the whole thing, to go back in time and find that she's still there. 



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