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Throw a dog a bone

 Girls make a million excuses to avoid being with the guy who isn't the one they're interested in at that moment.  They keep a bunch of sausages on the backburner most times.  This one girl who I liked said her tonsils were out and she couldn't make it after 3 months of love emojis and this kind of thing. Then it was something else. She said she was in a dating relationship. Only, there was no evidence on IG. Women change their minds all the time and they don't like to be forced to meet someone.  Maybe they just like talking to you on the DM's for an ego boost. One thing's for sure though; If you try to force them to meet they back out quicker than an alleyway cat before a pile of exploding excrement.
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Love slows down time

 It could have been a dream, that hazy summer afternoon in Thailand when my girlfriend went out with her friends on a graduation road trip. I was back for some time and would leave again for Donsak where I was acting as an au pair. I don't know why these emotions are indelibly set within me like gems. Why they shine and seem to move about in the gleam of the day as if it's still summer. I got up and made my way to the bus station and I recall that I was listening to Frankenstein because audible was free during covid. 

There is a constant frustration burning within me for a lack of great ideas, and a longing for intense emotions. I turn to things I shouldn't when this happens. I gloat over the female form; I gloat over many female forms - these days it's easy - wishing to reclaim that one moment again. That sentimental feeling of loving and being loved on an intense burning Thai day. I want to restart the whole thing, to go back in time and find that she's still there. 



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