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Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...
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But how is it with your heart?


 I know that most of you are up to your fourth or seventh or twelfth serious relationship, and I know that everything's going so well. You have the right car, the right house, the right family... Instagrammable

But how is it with your heart? Can you love as you did the first time? Can you  say that it's worth loving that way again, or are you too jaded? Because I did. I did, last year. I loved that way. 

And she loved me too, and she thought she'd never leave me, and I did too. I loved her family - her grandmother, her cousins, I loved her mother, I was not so fond of her father...

When we cried together one night under the bed lamp, it's because I thought I was losing her. I thought that she was gone forever. That she would disappear into another mans' arms at that student bar. 

I don't know why I felt that I'd lose her. I still love her in a true sense of loving. I still feel her heart beating on my chest sometimes. I just wonder what could have brought her to ever leave.

But that first love was eternal. It will go down eternally as something new. It was the first and the last time I'll probably feel that way... And I cried. Oh how I cried. I got sick too. Every morning I was ill. 

I thought we'd marry, and have kids who looked like her. I thought she was the one. And I'm not rushing to find a second one because she loved me dearly, I know she did. 

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