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Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...
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What's wrong with pRon?

 Looking for guidance from someone like Joe Rogan, you'd never say that porn is bad. You'd say it's a way to escape marriage by sorting out your urges there and then, instead of marrying the wrong woman. You'd say it's a necessary release valve. 



But after almost 3 decades of doing it - ie enjoying it to its fullest - , I think I'm reaching the realization that it's stolen more than I could ever quantify. I sit here an old, tired, family-less husk of my former self, and I suppose I'm in the position to tell you why it doesn't work. 

Are you ready for it? Here it is 

It doesn't work because it's not your life. Those women have no connection to you. You need it to be your life and you need them to be connected TO YOU for it to be real life experience. 

That's it. If you're not satisfied, read it again. Because I'm telling you, that's it. 

Secondary to that is that it WILL - I can guarantee you -  lead to a toxic relationship. You'll find your ideal partner, or so you think, and it'll be amazing. She'll just be very good at looking like a pRonstar for you and she might just use makeup to accomplish that. Invariably you find out what she is in the end: Cheap, superficial, and oftentimes stupid. She'll cost you an additional million dollars worth of your potential.

Hell, you might even marry a woman based on her looks, and end up with the wrong person. Well done, now you're a divorcee. Jokes aside (don't beat yourself up for being divorced more than you should) here's my opinion: If you think Asa Akira or whoever your fave pRonstar is would be a great marriage partner because she's good in bed, then think again. Because as good as she looks, I'm telling you, she's got nothing underneath that. You might as well marry a sex doll. 

Going forward:

All of which is to say, you need to find someone who doesn't necessarily give you an endless list of thrills based on your spank bank. You need to find someone who's solid, and the only way to do that is to go out into the real world and sever the cords with your porn-life. Because really, it's a life all on its own. The only way to become a real person with real dreams again is to become more empathic, and a necessary condition of that is NoFap or a serious, consistent effort to stick to noFap. 

Try it for 90 days. It can't hurt, can it? See if you feel any different towards life. Oh yeah, "And why 90 days?" You ask. 

90 days is how long it takes for the initial rewiring of the brain. There are other milestones of rewiring after that, but 90 is the first major one. 

Hope it helps!!!!

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