Should you take your mother to Thailand - My experience (Part 2)

 Hi from across the world in amazingly beautiful Koh Phayam!

I am staring at some pretty lovely looking beach bums across the beach and I'm not talking about the hippie variety. I mean the glistening sun-tanned variety with luscious locks of gold reaching down to them! 

But if you missed yesterday's post, you can catch up here. 

Basically I was trying to get my mom to follow me from station to station on the Bangkok transit system. Which was easier than I imagined, but also pretty damn stressful. She didn't seem to be enjoying it much. 

And either I did China town the wrong way or China town just isn't all that, but once we'd bought our train tickets for the ride to Chiang Mai, at the fairly ugly Hua Lampong station, I decided on a whim to go there. 

Before that though, I sent my first message to my ex on the Line app. It was just to reconnect and ask when she'd be able to meet us. (I must tell you that I'm a little spoilt for A grade backsides here on Koh Phayam. In front of me for instance, is an overly thin Thai girl in meditation pose. She kind of reminds me of my ex. She's quite wild and stringy looking. Straggly if you will - from the hair down. After my ex, I don't feel particularly attracted to her body type. I think I can be excused for saying that after the terrible time. But there is a twinge of satisfaction in seeing her thighs spread open in meditation. Then on my left, coming out of the water was some A+ triple grade beef. A real buxom European girl who would look great on any Swimsuit modeling magazine). Anyway. So all my meant to say in that little bit of reverie was that I messaged my ex. And she replied that she'd be available to meet us next day. 

Outside the old run-down station we hailed a Tuk Tuk. 

It was my mom's first ride on a Tuk-Tuk, and if you looked at the photo's you'd swear she was having the time of her life. Hair in the wind, big smile on her face. It was a fast, gorgeous thrill-ride through tree-lined streets to a circle where China Town begins. We paid 200 baht for the ride there, which was pretty much a rip-off.  But if you're used to Bangkok you'll know that you can bargain down to a more decent rate. Nonetheless, after a fairly beautiful thrilling trip over a bridge and past well-planted walkways we finally made it to all the red Chinese signs that habitually hang on the walls of these Chinese shops. 

My mom got off the Tuk-tuk pretty warily. She wears these white Italian sandals that make her look girlish and frail at the same time. It's odd to think she's growing older. I feel really bad for her and for all I've put her through, not knowing my career path or anything at this late stage. This trip is supposed to make up for all that. It's supposed to be a bit of a consolation or an undoing for my shoddy behavior in the past. I'm 36, not 26 anymore, and I still don't have a solid career. Or actually any career. I came here to teach. And I guess that's what I'll do. But my mom is aging fast. She still runs a garden service with some labourers back in South Africa. She has a neck hump and an unsteady gait. In my year back - for which I used my mom's Covid infection as an excuse to get away from my girlfriend - I basically lost faith in myself again. Having a girlfriend was the thing that changed that two years before. But South Africa is a dumpster fire.

We spent the first few moments in China town taking photos down interesting-looking alleyways. All the shops we walked past were pretty drab looking. That said, all in all the street scenes came together to make something that looked photogenic. It felt cheap but looked great. My mom spotted a cat with a fake-diamond collar walking in one jewelry shop and I took a photo of her petting it. The Chinese are mad about gold and diamonds apparently. The Chintz and fakery of that part of the world seems in-built.

Anyway - after that we walked down the the main road toward a kind of mobile fruit stall or cart that was parked on a corner. It was good for photos but like I say, it was too dirty for my mom's taste -the street scene as a whole. The fruit was interesting though. Lungatans or litchi-type fruits with harder skin, and Rambutans - that look kind of like covid cells, and of course the celestial dragon fruit - honor unto the great dragon king. After that we went down the longest alleyway of plastic goods. My mom pointed out that we needed hats, and she was right. For our holiday we'd need something better than sunscreen, of which we'd packed a lot. And as we walked past countless cheap goods stalls - from keyring shops to plastic basket shops to clock shops, and stationary stalls, we searched along the lane as we weaved in and out of the crouds, for the clasic white panama hat that one usually associates with travel. A cliche' I know. But what else does one have to hold onto when they arne't anything in the world. Finally we found a hat shop. I Wai'd the owner and we made our way upstairs to where those kinds of hats are to be found. She was an old owner and kind of creepy in the way that many older or middle aged Thai people are. With dust in the crevices of her eyes and always trying to cell you the world.

Astonishingly, these hats we found were made of paper and some form of plastic or nylon - but 90 percent paper. After clambering down the stairs with isles of hats surround us on every side, and above and below, got our hats and got out of there For the rest, I showed my mom a triple-story Moshi Moshi store, which is really just a teddy bear store on steroids. They do cheap pastel colored stationary and kitchen implements and everything besides too. A Chinese version of what Japanese culture is supposed to look like. There wasn't much there. Though my mom liked the pastel tones, it was all seen as bad quality. In contrast to my Thai girlfriend's opinion of the place, my German mother's view of it was basically "Cheap junk." And I have the quirk of seeing through other travelers' eyes, so this time around, I saw it all as a heap of junk. The whole place, like our cheap plastic yellow hostel on the highway reeked of cheap junk. 

We weaved through a few more alleyways, and I paid for the use of a toilet and then we got the hell out of there. It was hot, it was tiring, and basically, it didn't seem worth it. You can see cheap Chinese shit anywhere in the world, so why go all the way to Thailand to see it. We were out of the plastic-goods-laden alleyway now and were making our way down the main drag from which we came. There were so many restaurants that had Michelin star awards displayed on their doorways. I tried to explain to my mom that the little hidden private spaces are the true luxury getaways of Thailand. That tucked behind one of those doors was a great place to rest and probably delicious food. But she wasn't buying it. After all the dreck and muck of those narrow pavements, I was also feeling sick with guilt at taking her here. So I hailed a taxi to take us back to Hua Lampong station. We managed to avoid one scaly, greasy-looking man on a Tuk Tuk who wanted to charge us 250 baht and got into a tuk-tuk that only charged us 180. 

After another fun ride and trying to keep the banter going with my mom on that tuk-tuk, I recall being back in the air-conditioned ticket sales side of Hua-Lampong underground station. It was hot and crowded and I felt I needed to think of a place to take my mom where it wasn't so darn hot and chaotic. 

So we went to Siam station. 

Siam Paragon is a nice, if glitzy place. Every conceivable designer brand is there. We walked up and down that mall the whole day just about. It was on the ground floor where my mom found some refuge. We had these chia seed jars with mango and they were incredible. They brought us back to life again after that awful China town dreck. 

And really the whole of that first floor of Siam Paragon is a great place to feel yourself again. It starts off with the really expensive restaurants and then moves on to more middle class fare, and eventually ends off with cheap fast food and street-food type stalls. 

So we spent the day in Siam Paragon. My mom's a trooper, it seems. She made it through another day in the busiest city on earth. It was fun but it was tiring. 

There is a massive toy store on the 3rd last floor of Siam Paragon. It's got Lego and train sets and all kinds of collectible action figures, some worth 50,000 baht. There are also these recycled key holders that come in the form of cats and mice and they jump out of boxes when you put the ring of the key in the slot on the underside. I highly recommend these designer products. 

We took a tuk-tuk back to our hostel and then ambled around for a bit. I was stressed, tired and I don't like consumerism. But luckily my mom's a toughy. She was holding up. 

Next time I'll tell you about the meeting with my girlfriend and how that went down!