We have to dig through a lot of garbage just to survive

In this life, if you don't have access to a sauna and two or tree hours to yourself every day after work, or a loving family, or something - anything - that takes the edge off things but still brings you closer to your authentic self, you might get the sense that you're slowly sinking into an abyss of trash. 

The heaviness of life takes you out of the moment. It drops you into the trash-heap of common societal numbness. In these moments that make up life, you're not even accessible to yourself. You don't even have the time to iron things out with yourself. 

It's like you're doing someone else's job, going to someone else's house after work, eating out of someone else's bin, making connections that aren't yours.. because it's not for you but for that other person who isn't you anymore. You'll get to who you are, but right now you're numbing out. Dealing with life's many responsibilities. The you now is just a zombified body.

The point is this: We all want to set goals, but first we have to find who we are again. 

I saw an interesting quote by Jim Carrey the other day where he says: Being depressed is your soul saying to you "F### you! I've had enough."

And fair enough. That's exactly what it's saying. Your soul doesn't know who you've become so you have to find headspace for yourself through medication or something that takes you away from who you are. But junk food and medicine are not real answers. They're just tools to take you away from your pain by greater and greater degrees. 

I think some people die this way. If not to physically then to themselves. 

And isn't it frightening that they may never find themselves ever again? 

And wouldn't it be really nice to have authentic relationships again? To know that it's you who's talking to your friends, your colleagues or someone you've just met at the grocery store? 

Otherwise what is life? Who are we trying to please if not our actual selves?