In a chic Toronto bedroom, filled with curated décor, a vibrant girl with an exotic flair and a sleek bob sits behind her Apple computer. She’s not selling her soul on OnlyFans; instead, she’s rocking the gig economy as a copywriter for Dingus and Zazzy Inc. But let’s be real—"honesty" is a flexible term in this game.
As she juggles messages on Basecamp like a pro, her thoughts drift to her brand-new party fridge that just landed in her $2,000-a-month apartment in one of the trendiest neighborhoods. Is it a Smeg? Nope! Just a big ol’ fridge for fun times.
Scrolling through her inbox, she chuckles at a new colleague from South Africa. He’s sharp and gets rave reviews from clients, but in this hip company, being cool is the name of the game. His latest attempt at banter? Calling a song “cake.” What even is that? Cue the eye rolls!
"Wow. This song is cake, you guys!"
Silence. A single thumbs-up emoji floats by, and suddenly, it’s a meme-worthy moment. The news of his blunder spreads like wildfire. Enter Natalie, the tall, chatty blonde from England, who feels compelled to sprint (in spirit, of course) to Becca Kay, our resident queen bee, to report this grave offense. Becca cackles like a witch, cigarette-stained carrot-fingers to boot; sipping her tequila, delighting in the gossip.
The next day, our poor colleague finds himself locked out of the platform, effectively jobless. One moment he’s part of the team, and the next, he’s erased from existence, his contributions lost in the digital void.
Welcome to Dingus, where "cool" reigns supreme, and the stakes are as high as the skyscrapers outside. If you’re not in the inner circle, you’re out—no second chances.
Becca Kay, clearly thriving in her role as the cool kid, dreams up a bot that checks in on every employee every two minutes. "Hey friend!!!" becomes her mantra, a bubbly mask for the chaos lurking beneath.
Each time an ex-employee tries to reach out, they’re met with the same scripted replies:
“Hey friend!!! We love your work, but…”
“Hey friend, thanks for the feedback! Just a heads-up…”
“Hey friend, if there’s an issue, let’s chat—before we consider legal action…”
It’s a cycle of empty platitudes and faux concern, while Becca relishes her newfound power, ensuring that everyone remembers: the cool kids are always in charge.
Welcome to the wild world of Dingus and Zazzy, where your self-respect might just end up on the pavement outside, and the only thing harder to swallow than the truth is that tequila shot.
Comments
Post a Comment