An Admission: I secretly love failing

 Society does not look out for its own. It will eat itself up with AI. It will literally tear itself apart by making of the entire history of humanity an automated, cannibalized aggregate of its intellectuality, and yes that wasn't easy to read. I'll admit: It was a mouthful, but do I care? No! I don't care because no one really cares anymore. 

No one stops the empath from giving so much of himself that his body pays the price. No one puts the breaks on kindness. All the while, they take from the servant. They take and take and the servant gets driven into the ground. 

I sit in a public space because no one notices me anymore. This is a passive-aggressive move. If it is such an insult to be seen, then let them be forced to see me. If I am so unlovable as to be forced to feel my invisibility, then let me be visible. 

Let the burdens stack up and erase past burdens. I am burdened by those who know it is my duty to never say no. Let them burden me until I am the man of steel. I am sick of holding on, and therefore, let me hold on until I become invincible or die. Let them compress me and push me to the edge and let me hold on despite all leeches. 

Girls, whose purpose it is to care, do not care anymore. They simply allow the breaking of good men. Men whose purpose it is to protect society, do not protect. They simply take more and more as if it's their due.

When my shoddy old moped broke down today in the middle of an awful busy intersection during rush-hour, I was secretly very glad. They do not care about me, not even my old boss who I came to this town to work with. He doesn't care either which way. If it's an old bike that he rents out to me that cuts out in traffic, in the middle of intersections, he still gets his bike rental. But I'll pay the price I will not ebb in my goodness. 

If these dark and lonely dreams scare me to death then let them do so. Is it suicide? Very well, but it's a suicide which holds society to account.