No pRon til 50. Day 9 Age 37.456

 

Many people laugh at the idea of a man getting into a guilt-trip with his creator. "God's watching you on the toilet," they say. "God's watching you play with the pRok flute!" But few people look at it the other way around. Let's take the focus off of the divine. Is that really something you'd want for yourself? Forget about the judgemental or apparently petty aspect of God; but would you want to be the guy who is choking the turkey instead of doing something glorious like conquering his town or his city by being better than 99% of other people in basic health, fitness and soundness of mind? 

I really, truly did not want to get up this morning. The prospect of facing another day, another same-as-always day, was quite heavy, but having built up enough momentum through this blog and many other aspects of my life that are beginning to change, I managed to get up at a reasonable time. In point of fact, I've come to realize that no day is ordinary, and no day needs be ordinary. 

Whereas I didn't try at all before, now I'm trying with all my might. I'm spending most of my paycheck on nutrition and fitness. I'm not cutting any corners where I can help it. 

There are a few things that stick out for me along this journey. Let me share them with you:

We Need Structure

When I embarked on this path, I was so frightened I couldn't think straight. By that I mean; when I quit doing 9-5 jobs, it seemed I was free for a while to relax. But as I watched the world moving past me, as I saw the women and people I wanted to be around deserting me for the business of their own day, two paths became evident. 

The first was to simply go along with my old flow. Relax more, and do as little as possible. That way I could be relaxed enough to attract attention. However, the necessity for work pretty much wiped out this possibility. I had not enough money to do this, and I got into a job here in Thailand in a language learning center that offered freedom and very few shifts, but not much in the way of support. I had to build myself up using whatever cash I had left from my lotus-eating to buy equipment like toys and various games for the learning center to attract new clients. 

This led me down a very difficult path at first and I could have easily given up. But having listened to the quotes of many a stoic and many a wise man like Doctor Jordan B Peterson, I figured that if it was hard, that just meant I had to keep going. 

Fast forward to yesterday, which is roughly a year later down the line, and here I am making small improvements in structuring my life. 

Whereas before, I'd be a complete loner, today if someone invites me out, no matter how petty or ridiculous they seem in the world's eyes, I go and I have lunch with them, or supper or whatever. 

The tendency at this stage is to merely do full-time work. But I'm no robot. And having been with my friend yesterday for lunch (he is an ex-divorcee who is very clumsy and neurotic and a hot mess at times) I realize the importance of building social time in, and making a sort of structure of life, rather than just gunning for one particular outcome. 

In other words, life is a kind of a sandcastle that's always falling apart, and unless you impose structures on certain areas, be they social, physical, intellectual, novelty etc. the rest of the structure seems liable to fall down. 

When we're on a roll in our lives in one area, we can become obsessed. We can say "Ah, I really don't have time for this guy right now. What does he have to give me? But in fact he really did give me a lot. Friends are important, no matter how much they remind us of Piglet or Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. I think A.A. Milne was saying something about human nature there. 

We get told a lot of stuff on social media about how we should only mix with the successful. But in humility we can learn a lot too. If we are with God continually, aren't we with the greatest of all time? And so, this is an opportunity to uplift others. 

Surprising areas of growth

I was really surprised this morning when I felt this incredible Whoosh of confidence as I moved toward a pretty girl on the walking track this morning. It was like an angel were with me. Rather than nervousness I actually felt more and more excited as I approached her. 

Bearing in mind, I spend no money on data at the moment and I'm only into nutrition and the other basic necessities. This raises me, I would think miles above other people who are basically being "leeched" or "parasited" off by Netflix and Facebook etc. 

This means I'm feeling a genuine rewiring of my circuits, but It'd be folly to think that there isn't something else spiritual going on here. When you're caught in the slipstream of an angel's wings you will know it; and I hope this feeling comes upon you too!

Yesterday also, I prayed in a public place for the first time with my friend; the one I referred to earlier as Piglet or Eeyore. I felt something there, and I don't know what it was; but it's a first for me. Purity makes things a lot easier to do, and as he's a new believer, I had before felt that he deserves more than a minister who's into pRon. I'm not an ordained minister or anything; but what I mean is that we should all minister because the time is short. 

Every morning as I do my ice bucket challenge, I pray for help to face anything even death. I think that the moment of death is by no means pleasant, but we have to ready ourselves for that moment and be always thinking of it so that we can gain a true perspective on the preciousness of life. 

"Islands of stability"

This is a phrase I stole from JB Peterson. Reading in the evening does it for me. If I can get home and read a couple of pages of a really good or informative book, I immediately get relaxed. The other thing I do is leave some appliances on like the fan and a light maybe, so when I get home, the place feels a bit lived in. 

But work is also a great island of stability. If you can get all your work done for the week or the month or the term, then that's a great opportunity for you to sit back and enjoy life a bit more; read and do what you want. Maybe play volleyball with a few hotties. 

A globalized World of Opportunities

No matter where you are, you're always 6 degrees, and maybe less now considering the power of social media, away from the person you really want to be with. 

Let that be a reminder every time you're feeling isolated or lonely. The problem lies with you. If you're healthy enough, motivated enough, and have enough potential, you will find the people you want to be with. What a consolation! What a Godsend! This is the total opposite frame of mind to one that says "It's an isolated world where nobody ever goes out anymore." Yeah! because that isolated person is most probably you!