No pRon til 50. Day 13 Age 37.588

Nothing is more unforgivable than wasting time. I could have been doing this 10 years ago, but here I am at the ripe age of 37 and only on day 13. Still,  I don't plan on looking back. Let's make 13 into 1300!

Yesterday a gorgeous tan-skinned lady came into the elevator with me. A true minx. Girlfriend material to the max. Interesting, husky-voiced. . . On some level she's  been on my mind ever since, not least because of my awkward reaction to her. 

For my liver, this has probably one hell of  a two weeks. So I've decided to give eating a break for a full  day. Too many damn supplements. B3 actually started messing me up. Flushing and itching like a crazy man. Stay away from the industrial version of this supplement. Whatever you do. 

Heart-melting leather. Soul-bursting skinny jeans. Longings for a slim sweaty Thai babe's torso lashed by the rain in a street that sells good Pad Thai. So what... I'm getting more juicy? It's to be expected. I'm not worried about that. The last time I got to this point I got taken down by a call from a tall buxom Thai woman who never really cared because she was a lesbo. An administrator from one of the local universities. A piece of work she was. Jongjin Yamsri. Now more like a man than ever; then sweet as a pot roast. But having never had any interest in me further than her own business interests. I've since blocked her and I'll block or de-friend anyone who thinks they can carry on such a one-sided dynamic. 

The carnage of that phone-call cannot be understated. I had text-books full and dripping from yellow goop. It was all over the room and had to clean up the mess. I'm not being vulgar; just making an observation. It was a cool "le petite mort" - (I know that's not grammatical but it sounds cool as well) and it was beyond what I'd expected to be possible; but then it was total deflation from there. It's not worth it at all. Not a damn. 

Anyway, as to this day; like I say I'm fasting. I'm giving my body a break from all the chemicals and supplements and vegetable powders. It's clear that this needs to happen. I'm not even using sunscreen today, despite the ruinous effects of that on the face. I'm also on a blue-light fast. Now all I need is a rubber yoga mat because the one I'm lying on is oozing chemicals as we speak. 

Missed Opportunities

Nothing stings harder than an enormous opportunity that you just missed. The thing about time wasted is that no one tells you about it. It sneaks up on you and when it's wasted you're left with a pocket full of "should'ves and could'ves. 

Often it's the little things. It's ideas that you could have written down. I was walking behind a Thai this morning on his way to the apartment laundry room. It was a funny thing walking behind him because I got the Tarantino vibes. I imagined that he was the dirty pimp and I was the guy who needed to take him out in his dumb shorts which were flopped round by his fat legs. 

The machine always makes a little pathetically innocent ditty when you load it. I was just outside listening to the machine, filling my glass water bottles with water at one of those water-filling machines; and thinking, it'd make the perfect scene cinematographically if blood got spattered everywhere and you saw it from the entrance with that silly little 84 bit ditty playing. And especially all over the laundry and the camera only captured that. No actual killing, just blood, and all the while this little ditty playing. I'm glad I remembered that one to write it down. 

The power of Smell

The thing that happened in the elevator has been running around in my mind but not in a way that it used to before nopRon. This girl, this minx was waiting downstairs and I happened to be in there. I said to her - Sorry I have to go back up, my apologies. A quick string of words; and I stared intently at the door waiting for it to open and she said "it's okay" in the most comforting, warm husky voice. It was magical in its own short banal way. 

It was undeniably awkward, and like the little ditty and the blood-spattering of my subsequent imagination, it was a regrettable kind of awkward. However, I did get to thinking: What if I wore some extremely expensive French cologne. I won't give away the name; but it's one of the greats. It's like old man Lannister said "You're blessed with youth..." but you're squandering even that... Or something  along those lines~ Now I'm able to take that in a less serious way. Or a serious but also playful way. I have a new-colored lens on the world...