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Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...
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No pRon til 50. Day 19: Age 37.572

 An incredibly rough and sometimes horny day. I had the feeling that I might slip up and just do the deed but in the end all was okay. 


At the International school they seem to expect one to move heaven and earth for them although I'm happy I can at least enjoy their food. I didn't sign the paper for the food on purpose because I'm actually sick of signing the paper. Maybe the lunch ladies will do it anyway; but the school is full of it. 

I made a nice cheeky pass on Punch today and she smiled. I especially love her artistic way of dress. She's really marvelous. I hope one day we'll be together. I also in desperation sent some messages to a girl in Myanmar since the Thais are so remiss with their flirting. 

The day ended well and with a sense of accomplishment, aside from Doc Pen the Head of the school annoying me. He's a real tough guy sometimes. Gotta have the last say always. This is why I'm a rogue and don't work a professional job. Bunch of clowns and idiots. I'm going to do a lot of work in the morning and this journal is like a last thought. . . In summary: rough day. First time I've got to day 19 since I was like 35 so this is huge for me. I cannot believe I'll be 50 in a few years. I have to work hard from now until then. 

I've wasted so much time but I pray my hunger will get me there, and maybe Ms Punch will join me for the ride too.

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