No pRon til 50. Day 20: Age 37.577

 I'm sick of people and angry at times that they didn't help me get to where I needed to be. I know this is a low-value way to look at things. Don't worry, I know...

I always feel I should be anywhere but here. The money isn't good enough. The people are dumb... Yes, I'm surrounded by dumb people and I'm sick of it. 

Maybe having a family isn't "it". But I feel that I'm owed some more respect than what I presently attain to. This feeling is that I'm the outsider and I've got nothing that they want and they've got nothing that I want. 

I'm feeling trapped; claustrophobic. As if nobody understands what I need because it's too deep for them. No woman, no boss; not even myself. Only God. I will either get what I'm looking for or I will die long before. I don't care what it takes though, I'll go all in. 

I crave intensity and risk. I don't want to be the same as everyone else. These scumbags are all the same. They want from me and they have been ripped off themselves so fair enough. BalcRcok and VnagRaud have taken everything and AI will allow them to take the last. . .