Skip to main content

Featured

Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...
Post a Comment
Read more

No pRon til 50. Day 21: Age 37.584

 Rough, rough rough... Oh it's been a rough few days. I couldn't get myself to do anything I needed to do... I feel and look old in the mornings. I don't want to live the life I'm living, being the person I am.


If familiarity breeds contempt, then isolation must needs breed self-contempt. Ragged man that I am; room always a mess and crawling with ants, I can't make head or tails of my destiny sometimes. 

Then some CEO turns up on TV and pours gasoline on the fire: "50 percent of jobs will go to AI in the next 24 months" or something like that. Then I take it for granted that because I'm studying for a future role as a tech engineer, my present job doesn't matter; and then that all goes awry. One student, accustomed to twisting my arms during lessons, makes me play games and then the mother comes and looks in the window and we're always playing games. Then she opens the door and gives the student a good talking to. How must I feel about these things? 

All the while my health is suffering because I need 4 hours of exercise to keep afloat. And the rich keep coming; and their brats keep coming. And I can't stand these little piss-ant know-it-alls. God help me!!!

Last night a terrifying dream about my ex and my feeling that it was all just a misunderstanding and that I needed to tell her this. When I woke up and thought about it and realized "Oh no, that's just insane. She's with another guy now anyway."

Comments

Post a Comment