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Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...
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Attempt 3: Day 1 NoPron Age: 37.609

 It's day one here at DJ headquarters, and it's beginning to look a lot like groundhog day!

Every day is a gift from God. I go into today with a sense of gratitude for being granted another chance despite my monstrous lack of obedience to God in all things; especially those pertaining to the crucifying of the flesh. 

Woke up this morning at 3 am as I'd previously decided to do. However, something in me made me push the snooze alarm immediately. I guess that the hunger for change wasn't there. I was pretty happy with what I decided to do next though. I got up after about an hour-and-twenty-minutes which as you know goes hell of a fast when you're snoozing; and instead of just getting on my keyboard and doing my work, I actually came up with a new plan! 


I ran down to the shops

That's right. I didn't drop the plan of exercising before work altogether. Instead, I ran down to the shops with some of the hunger in me - maybe 70 percent of it  from yesterday - down to the shop which is about 2.5 kilometers. I bought cordyceps, lean meat, and ice of course for my ice face-bath (that gets my vagus nerve going. Wakes it up; you know). 

Anyway, so there I was, jubilant and hungry, knowing that life doesn't just wait for you. No, in fact, life is going to pummel you always. You just have to be fighting-fit for when that day arrives. When my mother dies for instance - God forbid that should happen anytime soon - I'll be without someone who has the whole of me, or just about in me. 

Yesterday, a really attractive woman from the church added me. She's like an 8 at least, and unfortunately a mother and married. But I am taking it as a sign from God. No adulterous vibes, but if she wasn't married, I'd go for her yesterday.

She's married to a probably rich guy but boy is this guy ugly. If he can get her, then no doubt I can get someone of like or better caliber to her. 

They keep arriving at the wrong answer

None of this is straightforward. This absolute stunner in the shop yesterday was announcing stuff seemingly to the whole room. She had this cheerleader dress and was like a young fit model with all the life force streaming through her. Not the usual spindly Thai woman. 

That's what I'm aiming at. If any of these people knew a tenth of my potential they'd be on me like a bag of flaming rocks. The trouble with them is they're blind. They don't know the hunger in my heart. They don't know that this is my greatest asset. I'm sick of being hurt, of being rejected; and I'm willing to work for everything I get from now on out. This will be  a stinker of a setup for anyone who doesn't know that. David Goggins; no offense, but you have to move aside brother!



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