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Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...
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No pRon until Waifu Day 02

There is nothing so humble or graceful as an as Asian bride. Now I've always  felt cut out of the mix. I've always felt like when my wedding day came, it wouldn't be that phenomenal. Well then why did God put me on the set of Black Mirror episode with a  wedding then? Huh? What kind of  a cruel joke would that be on behalf of God if he never intended for that to be the case? 

 
                                                                        yeah, that's me on the right

Well weddings are my newest thing. I have to focus on that day with all my heartfelt intensity. Not only for me but for my mother. There is much work to be done. But I can hope because God said I could; because I'm not committing the heinous crimes I did in terms of self-fondling. Now I'm here. I'm going for it. It doesn't matter what happens from here on out. I have my target. I have my goal. 



The thing to do is never let your love be coerced by something that isn't love. The last time it was with a fool of a  little girl who ran me through the wringer I am only now recovering. That was a rough time. I've been through some rough times, but boy that's right up there...

She held out every appearance of hope. She damaged me. I had to crawl through crushed glass to get to this point; there's no excuse for what she did. In terms of global revolutions and crimes against humanity, what she did should be logged for as a crime against humanity. 

Anyway, so here I am. The only good thing to hold out hope in is that she'll say yes. I have her interest. I pray day and night for her to come around and see the truth. I don't live for her, but she's a big part of everything. 

There's no going back here. Not now. 


And since today's a busy day I won't waste any more of your time. 

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