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Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...
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NopRon until 50 Attempt 5 Day 1 age: 37.58

 This has been the worst day since I stopped. It's been horrible. Nightmarish. Intolerable. 


I realize now that I was wrong. 

No 20 minute hand-pounding is worth any of it. 



I remind myself more and more of Joseph. I am not like his brothers and because I'm not like the others in this world, I am unfavored by the world and favored by God. But unlike Joseph, I can't turn away from my lusts. 

What makes this situation even worse is that there are women willing to go along with such behavior. But I cannot and will not use women as objects. 

Therefore I am reminded that the only path here is by faith; that like Joseph, I will have to slog to make seven years of plenty before the seven lean years. 

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