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Throw a dog a bone

 Girls make a million excuses to avoid being with the guy who isn't the one they're interested in at that moment.  They keep a bunch of sausages on the backburner most times.  This one girl who I liked said her tonsils were out and she couldn't make it after 3 months of love emojis and this kind of thing. Then it was something else. She said she was in a dating relationship. Only, there was no evidence on IG. Women change their minds all the time and they don't like to be forced to meet someone.  Maybe they just like talking to you on the DM's for an ego boost. One thing's for sure though; If you try to force them to meet they back out quicker than an alleyway cat before a pile of exploding excrement.
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NopRon until 50 Attempt 5 Day 1 age: 37.58

 This has been the worst day since I stopped. It's been horrible. Nightmarish. Intolerable. 


I realize now that I was wrong. 

No 20 minute hand-pounding is worth any of it. 



I remind myself more and more of Joseph. I am not like his brothers and because I'm not like the others in this world, I am unfavored by the world and favored by God. But unlike Joseph, I can't turn away from my lusts. 

What makes this situation even worse is that there are women willing to go along with such behavior. But I cannot and will not use women as objects. 

Therefore I am reminded that the only path here is by faith; that like Joseph, I will have to slog to make seven years of plenty before the seven lean years. 

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