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Scrambled cities: If you're not gonna do the work(on your soul), then you might as well work til you die

 There are two tiers in normal life. Those who are survive and those who thrive.  But nothing is a mistake in life: Nothing comes by chance. You have to prepare for it.  If you thought life was about making money and beating out the Jones's, you've lost already.  Life is: Desire for connection. All unhealthy competition is isolating. We live in an isolated-enough world already. This connection comes from a surprising place: Self-acceptance. A lot of us need to go back to the classroom. A lot of us need to take a silent breather and check in with what we need. This takes serious work. It's the real work. It relies on respect for others and self-respect.  A lot of people in the self-help community try to push the self aside: Manning up is the only side of it they see. But there are certain non-negotiables in this life. Certain things we can't cheat ourselves out of. We are not a piece of meat being acted on.    However, this is where God comes in. Some o...
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Comfort = The deathbringer

 There are few things that make me smile these days. It's all a march up a  wet, cold, muddy hill with an uncomfortable load on my back, which at times, feels as if it is breaking. 

Time no longer matters. I just see a blur of faces each day. They don't see me; I don't see them. It's like nothing at all happened some days. 

When I'm too scared and broken, I just shut down, but sometimes I'm able to work for great stretches at a time. At 37, there is a real problem: I don't have a proper job, and even those who are "Trying to help me" are actually steadily undermining me. 

Therefore, the only thing that's left to do is work like  a demon possessed. Blot out the world, and make each day as simple and productive as possible. 

It's not driven by hate anymore. This time it's for myself. 

I used to resent the way I was treated. Now I just stomach it and move on to the next thing I can do. 

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