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Throw a dog a bone

 Girls make a million excuses to avoid being with the guy who isn't the one they're interested in at that moment.  They keep a bunch of sausages on the backburner most times.  This one girl who I liked said her tonsils were out and she couldn't make it after 3 months of love emojis and this kind of thing. Then it was something else. She said she was in a dating relationship. Only, there was no evidence on IG. Women change their minds all the time and they don't like to be forced to meet someone.  Maybe they just like talking to you on the DM's for an ego boost. One thing's for sure though; If you try to force them to meet they back out quicker than an alleyway cat before a pile of exploding excrement.
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Comfort = The deathbringer

 There are few things that make me smile these days. It's all a march up a  wet, cold, muddy hill with an uncomfortable load on my back, which at times, feels as if it is breaking. 

Time no longer matters. I just see a blur of faces each day. They don't see me; I don't see them. It's like nothing at all happened some days. 

When I'm too scared and broken, I just shut down, but sometimes I'm able to work for great stretches at a time. At 37, there is a real problem: I don't have a proper job, and even those who are "Trying to help me" are actually steadily undermining me. 

Therefore, the only thing that's left to do is work like  a demon possessed. Blot out the world, and make each day as simple and productive as possible. 

It's not driven by hate anymore. This time it's for myself. 

I used to resent the way I was treated. Now I just stomach it and move on to the next thing I can do. 

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