In Bkk you never know if it's Smog'O'the-road or Top of the morning to you: but it's great...

When I was late for my flight and these two Chinese nationals in front of me in the queue would not budge when I asked them to have compassion, I strongly considered my life choicies. Would you mind if I jumped the queue? No response. 2900 baht later, I'm asking: Should I ever have come to Thailand? I've witnessed kindness and then again I've also witnessed people from mainland China who are finely calibrated along the lines of CCP code. Basically heartless and unaffected by suffering. 

But then there's this girl. I missed the girl and got a dental appointment and a meat platter at King Power instead. Life was good. But Life's shit without a relationship. Or is it? 

Honestly I've gotten worse things out of a relationship than I have out of singlehood.

Much worse things. I've got the best things but also the worst.

I've had my heart flayed and hung out to dry in a relationship.

This is the thing: I spend... I'm a big spender. I don't seem to care if I'm spending my future away. Maybe the lesson here is to learn to spend on myself. 

Anyway I went to El Toro down in Sukhumvit and the waiter was virtually apologizing to me for the price. He was so nice. I had opened that menu and it read 3000 baht per steak. I was too scared to say no. It was a darn good steak. I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. His concern was probably because I was dressed like a hobo. I had a seven eleven bag with me with all my valuables.

But needless to say whole point of a relationship is to make you happy. Well that's why we go into the thing, isn't it? You don't say the quiet part out loud but that is the point. 

It's obvious, and also perhaps even sophisticated to point that out. Go into it to be happy. Happy is the goal. Why run into things that bring you hell?

The faulty way of applying that that logic is to say: Oh well, I don't need a girlfriend. Why approach? Why try? Speaking of which, I'm probably going to try approach the girl in the air Asia terminal. She looks amazing. 

Update: I approached the girl but she said no.

In a place like BKK, thems' ripe for the pickings here. You need only come here a few times to discover that. I'm not investing any time or anything; not until they bring me the booty. But at the same time a man's gotta live too. A man's gotta get some booty in the first place. I'm not old. I'm not ancient. I just buck up and go again. I'm a Duracel bunny. Life's for living. I don't wanna use women but there must be another way. A darma bums kinda way. 

I don't know much at all.