After the parent teacher conference - A South Thai School Somewhere

 I really felt I had been put on the spot and that I was being cross examined. As if my life wasn't worthy for this fellow who is also a teacher at the school. Adrenaline is teeming through me like millions of micro-fishes in a swamp full of bigger creatures that I'm more used to. 

He really convicted me, this fellow, to make up for the ways in which I was left behind. I am too slow, too cumbersome and if I expressed myself clearly to him in the moment, I would be without the proper pictures. 

I really had to tame down my viewpoints. I couldn't talk about the experiences of my youth. That wouldn't be right. One of the questions was: "How do I connect with his Child?" 

"How can I connect with him?" I thought. My heart racing at this point. My heart on the point of not knowing wat to say, and everything coming from there. 

Why was he doing this to me?.. 

Anyway I spoke. My mouth moved. I guess it was good enough. He didn't come down too hard, just held my feet to the fire for long enough, letting me think I'm not worthy.

For his other son Francis, I'll have to think more deeply. 

Francis, who is an ought-to-care-about kind of case, and not one that I'm particularly interested in treating. The kid will come along when he comes along. He will not be forced or focused into any meaningful connection with my state. 

A plan of action; well one plan is to find things in the library that offer a Christian point of view. 

One of them is mere christianity.

One of them is the cross and the switchblade. 

The second one sounds better. 

I was really put on the spot there. 

Phew.